Cultivate Your Child – DISCIPLINE or DISCIPLE

The Government and the police may arrest you for spanking your child because that child disobeyed your orders, if your disobedient child complains to them. But the same Government will take your tax dollars to pay the police to shoot your child for disobeying them… Oh yes, the police will arrest you for spanking your disobedient child on its buttocks, but with impunity, they just might shoot that child in its back for disobeying them.

To be clear, this is not a commentary on the police, the majority of whom we all know by now are decent law-abiding citizens tasked with the difficult job of racial, social, economical and life-style profiling, who are secretly trained to shoot rather than be shot. This is a commentary on the right of parents to spank their child on its buttocks to prevent it from being shot by the police in its back.

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To be clear, God expects parents to drill their children… not kill them. Some uneducated psychologists pollute our global sensitivities by channeling a range of misinformation from hell about the permanent damage that discipline allegedly does to a child. We must stamp that lie with the imprimatur of the Devil himself. Let us take a look at that lie and bury it.

First we must get rid of the elephant in the room. There are some parents who are psychologically unfit to cope with the challenges that come with cultivating children. Such parents, for a variety of reasons, are literally incapable of constructively disciplining their children, and will very often, abuse them, and that will permanently damage the victim.

Such parents must be monitored, and hopefully, rehabilitated to the point that they can effectively discharge their duties to their children. And of course, in some cases, where intervention proves futile, separation of the child from its toxic environment is necessary, at least temporarily.

But here is the rub. Whenever the Government steps in to separate a child from its parents in the best interest of the child, the Government has a moral and legal obligation to guarantee that the child’s new environment will be better than its old environment. Unfortunately, even with the best of intentions, seldom does it achieve this objective. But more on that in another video.

The biggest problem that parents face in disciplining their children is that they try to implement measures that are much too little and much too late.

We all know how easy it is to bend a tree when it is young, and we can almost effortlessly do so in any direction we choose. It very soon becomes literally impossible to achieve the same results, given the same effort as the tree grows older.

The same with a child. One of the theoretical maxims of the police force, is that in the execution of his duty, the policeman must employ as little force as is possible, and as much force as is necessary. Clearly, the more compliant the citizen is, the less force becomes necessary for the policeman to enforce his orders. Put another way, given that the aim of discipline is to enforce compliance, then the amount of discipline that is necessary is a direct function of the degree to which the subject is compliant. The same is true of disciplining a child.

To be clear, discipline is not punishment, but punishment is a part of discipline. Take a close look at the word discipline…

With which word does it bear a striking resemblance? It is the word “Disciple”… The Online Dictionary of Etymology associates the word “disciple” with Old English discipul, “one who follows another for the purpose of learning,”  And for the word “discipline”, it states, “ from Latin disciplina – Meaning “instruct, educate, train”.

Put another way, the concepts of discipling and disciplining are joined at the hip and cannot be separated. Notice that neither word includes punishment, as submission to discipline and being a disciple, ideally ought to be voluntary.

The problem with this reality, is that an appreciation of what is in our best interest is a function of our maturity… and some of us take very long to mature. Certainly, in the early development of child, no parent expects a child to know what is in its best interest. You may try having a discussion with your child, and leading the child by questions and hints into coming up with the response that you want to hear.

But if the child fails to decide on its own that eating greens is in its best interest, you have got to find a way to force…

ooops… I just dropped the “F” bomb… yes, you have got to find a creative way to force your child to eat its greens. And here is another “F” word for you… Failure is not an option.

The Bible, and I am sure other authentic books, will tell you that folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him. And even if you have never read the Bible, you know that fun and frolic and folly are primarily the hallmarks of children.

I am sure that God leaves it to every parent to decide what their “rod of correction” will be, for as long as it satisfies the definition of “something that results in correction and not destruction”.

And if you are a romantic starry-eyed parent, let me burst your bubble… the rod of correction has to be something painful, that hurts, and that serves as a deterrent. Any time you see your child smiling and happy and begging for more of the rod of correction, you know that you are doing something wrong. The rod of correction is supposed to reverse wrong behavior, not reinforce it.

And here is a shocker… there is something called good and bad… right and wrong… and contrary to the now, apparently delusional former 9/11 hero Rudy Giuliani, there is something called truth… and truth is truth.  But all that is for another video.

To be clear, the ideal parent-child relationship is one in which the parent first lives a perfect life and does only what is right, and then the child voluntarily deciding that they want to live like their parents do. Put another way, if you can disciple your children, you can remove the punishment component of having to discipline them.

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